Funny Golf Quotes

At Striker Golf, we not only want to advance the game, but we want to keep it fun.  In that spirit, I have collected some funny golf quotes that I hope you will enjoy.

From time to time, I hope to add to this list… so feel free to email, tweet, or post me additional quotes that you think should make this list.

Thanks from Striker Golf GPS and Heidi Striker!

Fun Golf Quotes and putter

“Golf is a game in which you yell “fore”, shoot six, and write down five.”
Paul Harvey

“Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at.”
Jimmy Demaret

“If you think it’s hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball”
Jack Lemmon

“Fifty years ago, 100 white men chasing one black man across a field was called the Ku Klux Klan. Today it’s called the PGA Tour.”

“How did you make a twelve? I had a long put for an eleven.”
Clayton Heafner

“I’m the best. I just haven’t played yet.”
Muhammad Ali, on his golf game

“The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can’t see him laughing.”
Phyllis Diller

“Golf is a good walk spoiled.”
Mark Twain

“Bad Sausage and five bogeys will give you a stomach ache every time.”
Miller Barber

“My goal this year is basically to find the fairways.”
Lauri Peterson

“I don’t care to join any club that’s prepared to have me as a member.”
Groucho Marx

“Have you ever noticed what golf spells backwards?”
Al Balska, American writer

“I don’t need to know where the green is. Where is the golf course?”
Babe Ruth

“When you start driving your ball down the middle, you meet a different class of people.”
Phil Harris, Comedian

“I’ve had a good day when I don’t fall out of the cart.”
Buddy Hackett

“I guess there is nothing that will get your mind off everything like golf will.  I have never been depressed enough to take up the game, but they say you can get so sore at yourself that you forget to hate your enemies.”
Will Rogers

“Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child. Just how childlike golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five.”
John Updike

“The people who gave us golf and called it a game are the same people who gave us bag pipes and called it music.”
Silk Stockings TV Show

“The least thing upsets him on the links. He missed short putts because of the uproar of butterflies in the adjoining meadows.”
P.G. Wodehouse

“The first time I played the Masters, I was so nervous I drank a bottle of rum before I teed off. I shot the happiest 83 of my life.”
Chi Chi Rodriguez

“After all these years, it’s still embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour. Like the time I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye.”
Chi Chi Rodriguez